this will be my first ever post on my new blog. i'm not quite sure exactly what's going on yet but i figured since i dedicate every second of my free time to writing, might as well build my own place to store all of it while simultaneously sharing it with you :). i'm not an experienced blogger, but the plan here is to write about whatever i want, while also giving updates on my life until i figure out some sort of system.
i think my inspiration to do this came from my being sentimental in nature. i have always loved saving and collecting and as i get older the one thing i'm wishing i could bottle up the most is each new version of myself. it's entertaining for me to dream of a future bailey in 5 or 10 years digging this up out of the depths of her mind and getting to revisit me. because if there's one thing i have definitely learned in my 20 years on this earth; it's that your digital footprint never dies. so let's hope i don't get too out of hand on here...
today is december 5th, 2023 - it's a tuesday and i love tuesdays. at this point, i spend most of my days in my room writing- mostly songs but also poems and short stories, journal entries too, of course. it feels like my mind moves 100 miles a minute and i often wonder if other people who talk excessively like myself, also feel that way. when i'm talking about the way my brain works, i like to tell people to think about how much comes out of my mouth and then to imagine how much doesn't. that usually helps in the understanding department. in the past 6 months my writing has become possessive. for example, just today i had set myself up to run some errands, i made it to the coffee shop and back into town and then POOF! the most magical and creatively fulfilling idea i've had in weeks- so, naturally, i turned around and went directly home to tend to it. i've developed this new fear, you see, of losing an idea- any idea, when one comes i simply must drop everything because what if it's the one? are you understanding the possessive part yet? it can be exhausting. not the writing, but my mind. it's as if the second i started to believe in myself, just the tiniest bit, i lit this fire that has done nothing but slowing and surely engulf my entire life. my world is burning and it's intoxicating and addicting and all-consuming. for fuck's sake people, i'm alive again!
that feels like a good place to stop- so, bye
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